5 Tips Hari Raya: Mendidik Anak Menghargai Hubungan Kekeluargaan

June 11, 2018

Alhamdulillah, the Eid holiday is coming soon! This break is the perfect opportunity to spend quality time with everyone in the family. Good family relationships make children feel secure and loved, which helps their brains development.

Even for the busiest of parents, we want our children to appreciate family ties during the Eid.

So here are some tips for our act together, hopefully, they are fantastically nostalgic to bring family ties for our children to appreciate:

1. Make that old school Raya card.

Believe it or not, in a culture of today with no-more Raya cards and no more letters or “surat-menyurat“, people feel more appreciated to receive Raya cards. This year, make that happen. Make Raya cards with your children

Let them draw and colour their wishes on the cards. Help them cut and paste the art stuff. Get everyone to put their words and Du’a for Atuk, Wan, Pak Ngah, Ayah Long, cousins – as many family members you want! Put them in envelopes and spray some perfume 😉

Did you know people those days love writing on scented paper?

They even put some talcum powder in the letter to make it smell good when the receiver reads it! How thoughtful they were! Another suggestion – print your family tree and make it into a Raya card.

Good for everyone’s reference and to remember distant relatives too!


2. Salam, smile and say it.

Teach our children to say courtesy words like, “Is there anything I can help?” and “Atuk jemput makan” (Atuk, come let’s eat together) even when Atuk is already seated at the table together.  Teach them to say it with action, “Boleh saya tolong?” (Let me help you) while carrying the plates to the kitchen.

Yes, even when the hosts say, “Never mind, just leave it there.”  Courtesy is after all one of the best attributes of our culture.

Teach them not to open the Sampul Duit Raya (the Eid money packet) in front of the giver – whoever it may be, whether it is Atuk or daddy’s friend. We know how our children can be so honest with their comments!

Teach them not to open the Biskut Raya jar or take the food until the host has invited to do so. Otherwise, teach them to say, “May I have some?”.

Teach them to say, “Waalaikumussalam“, and not just “Assalamualaikum“, because answering Salam is obligatory too.

“But what if they refuse to make Salaam (the Malay way of the handshake)?” It’s alright. Refrain from potentially embarrassing them more than they already feel by pushing or forcing them to do so.

Sometimes they want to take time to know a stranger before giving their hands and that is not bad at all. And, it is also not necessary that children must make Salam by kissing everyone’s hands. We don’t really recommend that.

Although depending on your family culture, we believe that it should be for immediate family only.


3. Play your childhood games!

Ask Atuk, Tok Wan, Makcu and Pak Lang what was their favourite toy or game as a child and it’s likely you’ll hear a piece of childhood nostalgia. Even the activity of playing with games can recall a long-lost memory, from the hours spent with mum learning tricks on our Yo-Yos – to dad laughing away after losing at Batu Seremban.

Wait a minute, don’t tell us you have forgotten your childhood games? If you need a refresher, go to shops in older town areas, you can still find card games like Happy Family, Snap, Old Maid  – oh my!

Even if you can’t buy those old-school card games, you can still play the game like Teng-Teng, Galah Panjang, Pukul Berapa Datuk Harimau and many others. Break the culture of sitting down eating Kuih Raya while watching TV.

Imagine the family bonding and enjoying a moment of laughter with family by bringing our childhood games back during Hari Raya.


4. “When I was just a little girl” 

It’s storytime! Get every children and grandchild to sit in front of Atuk or Wan and listen to their stories.

Old folks just love to be listened to. What more, they are a treasure trove of endless amazing stories to be told. They want the younger generation to learn from their stories.

Our children will benefit from being good listeners even when they don’t really understand everything. What if your child does not want to sit? Just sit them on your lap and hug them to listen together.

Give a topic like, “What was the funniest thing that happened when you were in Primary school?” or “Who was your best friend in school and what were the best memories?”.

These are sure to get everyone including Pak Long, Mak Lang and all to share their stories. It can be inspiring as well as hilarious.

You will make everyone feel young again!


5. Balancing gadgets & family togetherness. 

Fine, you may give the gadgets to your children but, please make it a time of togetherness. It’s all about balance both. Talk together.

Browse through every photo that you have taken when they were small or photos throughout the year together. Or even the happy moments in the family trip photos.

Laugh together, put the photo slides on a projector if you have one at home, so that everyone can enjoy the time.

You can even play together. There are many online games that can be played as a family  – check some of them here.

Read ebooks together or read it aloud to your children and their young cousins. There are so many storybooks for them to choose from, such as this.

Yes, gadgets can be great but only when it is put to good use.


Wow, what a blast of family Eid bonding you can have apart from lovely similar-colour-and-look attires! Inshaa Allah.

Kini tiba masanya
Hati gembira di Hari Raya
Bertemu sanak dan saudara
Bermaaf-maafan dengan keikhlasan ”

Maaf Zahir Batin,


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