Adab Di Hari Raya: Apakah 6 Perkara Yang Akan Melukakan Hati Anak-Anak?
There’s something about Eid that makes it so unique for children’s innocent hearts. The happiness of Eid among them shows, beyond new clothes and cookies. Unfortunately, there are some words often uttered by parents and adults which may spoil the genuine excitement of Eid in our children.
EID VISITS: WHAT ARE THE 6 THINGS NOT TO SAY TO YOUR CHILDREN?
Here are some of the most common words we hear around us during Eid visits :
1. “Tak nak Salam ke? Eh, kenapa tak cium tangan? ”
Why don’t you make Salam? Why don’t you kiss hands when you make Salam
This is part of Malay culture. Asking a child to respect the guests by greeting them or being polite is already good enough for a child. The fact is, some children may take a longer time to warm up with a newly met person due to their shyness, and that is not bad at all. Also, we believe that kissing hands is only reserved for immediate family; not just any adults or guests they hardly even know.
2. “Periksa dapat nombor berapa? Tak dapat no 1?”
What’s your exam results? Did you get 1st place?
Visiting is supposed to be a happy family time, not an interrogation time. No wonder children sometimes refuse to visit relatives or parents friends’ houses because they simply want to avoid being asked the same question again and again.
3. “Pergi main jauh-jauh. Jangan bising, orang tua tengah bercakap”
Play somewhere else and stop being noisy. The adults are having a conversation
We see this culture in some masjids too, where children are not allowed to be in the same Saf as the adults. They are asked to go at the back. They then end up with being scolded by the adults for getting into playing and being loud. Ever wonder why when the children grow up as youths, they are distancing themselves from the adults?
4. “Budak lelaki memang macam tu. Kalau pasal main, memang No 1.”
Boys are boys; they just love to play too much.
Did you know that a research has shown that the decline of reading interest among the boys are due to social perceptions that girls are more well-behaved, and love reading? The study also indicates that when boys are holding a manual on remote control Airplanes, they are perceived as playing but when girls are holding a book on Princesses fairy tales, they are seen as reading. Unfair to our boys and girls to grow up believing that way, right?
5. “Jangan makan banyak, nanti gemuk”
Don’t eat too much or you’ll be fat
Instead of saying that, we could teach them to be considerate and advice them to remember to leave some food for other people.
It is important for our children to understand the concept of healthy lifestyle and positive body image. Let’s not hurt their self-esteem. We also do not want them to judge their friends who are fat as ugly, and the skinny as pretty.
6. “Jangan menangis. Malulah orang tengok.”
Stop crying now. It is shameful for others to see
Our children need to know that it is alright to feel happy, sad, or angry. It is essential to make them understand their feelings and how to deal with it positively. After all, we don’t tell adults to stop crying and that it is shameful, so why do we say that to our children?
Dear Mommies and Daddies,
In a house full of guests this Hari Raya, your child will scan the room looking for you. Only you. When he/she sees you, his/her face will light up the room. He/she wasn’t looking for the perfect parents. He/she was looking for his parents. To him/her, you are perfect. Your words are the world to them. Take him/her to a good world.
With love,
Founder of GENIUS AULAD
Photo: 123RF
